"My relationship with [my midwife] Marita became something I deeply treasured as bonds of trust grew. This was one of the key components that had been missing in all my previous birth experiences.” 

I changed health care providers at 20 weeks. I was going to birth under the care of an obstetrician in a private hospital, as I had for three of my five babies, however this time I simply couldn’t shake the disdain I had each time I drove to the hospital for my appointments. Every cell in my body was screaming “I don’t want to birth here”. This was my sixth pregnancy, and I had had a range of experiences that had led me to question modern childbirth practices. I was ravenously listening to The Great Birth Rebellion Podcast and reading every book on natural childbirth I could get my hands on. The more I learnt about the beautiful design of natural physiological birth the more I wanted the chance to experience a fully undisturbed natural birth and avoid the inevitable cascade of interventions awaiting me in hospital. I also wanted to be in an environment where I could remain as relaxed and as calm as possible so that I could get the oxytocin flowing and my experience of the pain could be more manageable. After complaining of this to a friend for the duration of my pregnancy she told me she was sick of hearing me complain and insisted I call MAMA Midwives. So I did! Initially my husband was hesitant but he could see and hear how strong my desires were to birth at home and so after a few conversations and lots of prayer he expressed his full support. I was so excited!  

I was allocated the stupendous and outstanding midwife Marita. We hit it off straight away and I always looked forward to her visits in my home. We spent most of our time sharing stories, drinking tea and laughing on the couch. Marita cared for me on a physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual level - my whole person. Our appointments never felt clinical yet I knew clinically I was in safe hands.  

As I started sharing our decision to have a homebirth, many women started opening up to me about the cascade of interventions they had received during their births. Stories of trauma and disempowerment were common. A common thread emerged in their stories and that was that most of them had a deep desire to experience natural physiological birth. I felt really angry and upset about injustices myself and other women had endured during one of the most significant events of their lives. Marita helped me to process a lot of my own birth trauma and anger over these injustices. My relationship with Marita became something I deeply treasured as bonds of trust grew. This was one of the key components that had been missing in all of my previous birth experiences.  

I woke up at 3am at 41 weeks and 3 days in labour. All of my labours had started around this hour of the morning. I welcomed the familiar sensation of mild cramping and enjoyed the silence of the morning, enveloped in stillness and peace. Knowing I could stay at home and not be disrupted by the anxiety of when to go to hospital or managing contractions in the car was such a gift to me.  

The strength of each contraction began to intensify as I lay in bed. I closed my eyes and moaned quietly as it rose and faded. By 4:30am they were coming every ten minutes and they were strong so I messaged Marita, who was already awake. When she arrived at 5:45 they were still ten minutes apart. I had moved to a mattress in our birth space and was laying down under twinkling fairy lights. They had increased in strength and so I needed to use my voice more to ride through them. Around 6:15am I told Marita that I felt pushy. She said it was time to blow up the birth pool. I didn’t think we were getting close to that time because the contractions were strong but still manageable. They were also only 10 minutes apart. If I was in a hospital I would not have been classified as being in active labour and would have been sent home.  

At 7am our student midwife Andy arrived and soon after our second midwife Sari arrived. I had gotten upright at this point as lying down was no longer comfortable. I wandered around the birth pool in our homeschool area, holding onto bookshelves while moaning through each contraction and giving thanks to God for this beautiful baby I was about to meet. Contractions had started coming slightly closer together at about 7 minutes apart. I tried eating some toast but it made me feel nauseous, so I stopped. Soon after I started feeling shaky, emotional and teary. I was moving into transition.  

At 8am my in-laws arrived to collect the kids. My student midwife Andy later told me that Marita had whispered to her that once the kids had been picked up it would be game on. She was right. Marita encouraged me to get into the pool. The contractions picked up in intensity and became closer together. I remember turning onto my back, stretching my arms on either side of the pool and moaning through a very powerful contraction. It really hurt, but I was so thankful for the water's buoyancy and warmth that alleviated some of the tension. I was able to remain calm and focused as I moaned through each one. A few more powerful contractions came upon me and then the familiar sensation of needing to bare down took over me. I went with what my body wanted to do and felt a pop. My waters broke and the mucous plug emerged. I was so excited! I hadn’t wanted my waters to be broken during this labour. I’d desired to experience them break on their own.  

All of a sudden, I felt like I had reached the end of myself and that I couldn’t go on. I was right in the middle of transition. In the past I have felt transition to be overwhelming and frightening. This time, even though it was intense and painful, I remained calm and in control. My husband was by my side stroking my hair, reminding me to breathe, letting me squeeze his hand as hard as I could while whispering sweet encouragements to me; “you can do this, I’m so proud of you, not much longer, you’re going to hold your baby soon”. Three more powerful contractions came. I groaned deeply and cried out in the pain. On the fourth contraction I felt the urge to push. I worked with my body and pushed too. Out popped our baby's head. On the third pushing contraction my body took over. I cried out again as my baby emerged out of my body and was guided up into my arms. A state of awe and disbelief overcame me. Our baby was here! I had done it - at home! Just me, my baby and the encouragement of safe people working together to bring forth her life in the safety, comfort and privacy of our home. My husband had had a dream a few weeks earlier about having a little girl. I looked down to see what gender she was and sure enough, we’d had a little girl. We named her Hope, in light of Christian hope of eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ.  

As Marita, Sari, Andy and I sat around chatting and rejoicing in what had just happened I remember saying “that wasn’t so bad, I can’t wait to do that again”. The pain hadn’t overwhelmed me or caused me to feel afraid. The entire birth was allowed to unfold fully undisturbed, without any interventions in the safety of my home. The oxytocin had been flowing. I felt calm, safe, loved, nurtured and protected. Soon after we moved out of the pool, I was able to birth my placenta without syntocinon, exactly as I’d hoped. From the beginning to the end it was the birth of my dreams that I had prayed for. At some point one of us realised that Hope had been born on Saturday the 24th of August, the same day as the first Great Birth Rebellion Conference in Sydney. All I had learned and overcome had largely been made possible because of the education I had received from Mel the midwife and Marita. While Hope was being born, midwives and birth workers from around the country were gathering together to teach, learn and encourage one another. Change is coming and there is hope for women who desire to reclaim their power and dignity in birth. I am so grateful for this healing and empowering experience and I can't wait to do it again. 

Birth story by Erin Browne.