Jessica Kostoff

“It was redeeming and healing to have things be so straightforward this time. I was able to trust my body and birth as a natural process” 

Nearly a week after my estimated due date, I woke up Thursday morning determined to birth my baby that day. I went for a 3k walk on the beach, ate dates, did a Pilates workout…I could feel so much pressure in my pelvis, and felt mentally prepared. For the past couple of weeks I was having more and more Braxton Hicks. We already had the birth pool set up in anticipation, my affirmations hanging on the wall with fairy lights, crystal grid, and birth altar set up in the living room. I visualized exactly how I wanted it to happen and told my baby, “It’s ok to come out now”. We had every plan set in place in case I had another PPH, retained placenta, or posterior birth; conversations I had discussed with Ella and other midwives for months in advance for this birth (lots of paperwork too).  

I was exhausted from all the “Is the baby here yet?” and “When will you get induced?” messages that I needed a distraction. We went out to dinner for the last time as a family of 3. We brought my daughter to her favourite park at 5pm and watched the full moon rise over the horizon. It was huge! I could feel the strength and steadiness of the moon within me, connected like the tides of the ocean. On the drive home from dinner, at 7:15pm, just a couple blocks away from home I felt the first period-like cramp as I gripped the steering wheel. I was excited and in disbelief it was finally happening but also didn’t want to get my hopes up too high since I was preparing for another long labour (my first birth was 40 hours). I called the triage about 30 minutes later, after I timed the cramps 6 minutes apart, a feeling I had for days with my first. Veronica and I agreed it could still be early, but she would let Ella know it’s probably happening tonight. I laid down with my nearly 3 year old daughter, hoping to get her to sleep, but after a while I couldn’t lay down comfortably. I remember feeling the surges and visualizing myself swimming in the ocean, saying “Bring it on!” in my head.  

My husband, Ken, helped me put on the TENS machine. Then I felt the urge to go to the bathroom. On the toilet, my water broke. I knew for sure it was happening now! A big gush of water this time, not a tiny trickle…how exciting! I called Veronica back and told her my water broke but I could barely speak. She could hear the difference now and said she would send Ella, Ruth and Marita over. After I hung up, the surges hit me like a tsunami, back to back with no relief. I was moaning loudly to release the pressure and intensity of the contractions, I remember looking at my daughter staring at me and said to her, “The baby is coming soon!” She was stroking my hand and saying “It’s ok mama” smiling at me. We had prepared her for this by reading “Hello Baby” so she knew I might be loud when the baby came.  

At the same time, Ken was getting ready by opening the pool liner and setting up the hose. I staggered, hunched over, into the living room and asked him to get my yoga ball so I could lean on it. I got on my knees on my yoga mat and leaned over the ball. The contractions were relentless…Suddenly I felt the urge to push! Ken said it’s time to call Ella and we put her on speaker phone while she was driving. My guttural moans turned into a loud high pitch “Ahhhhh!” as I could feel my baby descend quickly then drop into the cradle of my pelvic floor. Ella reassured me that everything was “totally normal” so I was able to push him out without any fear. Ken said, “I don’t see any — uhhhhh, oh $&@? there’s the head!” Meanwhile, my daughter was sitting on the floor beside me watching and pointing as her brother’s head emerged. Finally, some relief as I could touch his head and breathe for a moment. I could tell he was big because of how I pushed with the contractions to get his shoulders out. “Can you grab him?” I said to my husband as I was focused intently on all 4s, afraid he might fall onto the floor. He said “I got him!” And I was able to push him all the way out quite easily. I felt a burning sensation on one side but other than that no pain when he came out, just pure shock and relief. We welcomed our big healthy boy at home at 9:07pm, (less than 2 hours from my first cramp, 17 minutes after my water broke). 13 minutes later Ella arrived and checked on bub, he was perfectly healthy. There was some blood but no tears, so we considered doing an oxytocin shot until she checked to find the placenta was sitting there waiting to come out. I gently pushed and it came out in one piece, 18 minutes after he was born, a freakin miracle! I was so afraid I was going to have a retained placenta again, I couldn’t believe it!  

After our uninterrupted golden hour of bonding it was time to weigh him and we all took our guesses. He was a whopping 4.35 kilos! Over a kilo more than my daughter when she was born, no wonder I felt so much pressure down there. I’m still in awe that I had a 100% physiological birth. With complications the first time around, it was redeeming and healing to have things be so straightforward this time, I was able to trust my body and birth as a natural process. I’m eternally grateful for how everything happened and for the beautiful nurturing care of the MAMA midwives. After the birth, they made me feel comfortable, fed me tea and snacks while I laid on the couch with my babies, helped me shower, cleaned up, and made the bed ready for us to sleep in. I felt supported and confident going into my second birth because of the hours of conversations and preparations with my midwife. Thank you, Ella, for your guidance and encouragement throughout our pregnancy journey, you’re a true gem! Special shout out to student midwife, Ruth for being so kind and generous (taking this pic as well), she’s a natural.  

Birth story by Jessica Kostoff.